So, update from last blog (sorry for not being consistent)
- Past my TeXes 8-12 exam as well as my Science 4-8. So, in other words, I'm certified to teach high school as well as middle school science.
- After I heard this news, I started apply to jobs like crazy (Special thanks to Athalia and Ross)
- Got a call for a job interview for a Charter school
- Got the job! I will be teaching High school Chemistry, IPC, and Physics
- Moved out of my apartment to a house which is about 2 minutes away from my school.
- This all happened in a matter of week...Funny how God works, right?
So, now, let's talk:
I was becoming extremely stressed within the last few weeks, my last post seemed to captured the mood of my regression. As I began to applying to jobs, I realized I wanted to be in this beautiful new High School with a active football team, privilege teens, and a safe community. In other words, I wanted to feel comfortable and safe. I felt as thought I deserved this from all this intense training and obstacles I've been through. I was OWED a good job...and then "Slap".
I realize " we" (meaning the general public) have this intuition that this world owes us for the pain and struggle. The root of the predicament is embedded in our motivations, for is it God's wanting or ours?
As I got a call for this interview, I looked at the website and it said "at risk" students, in other words: young mothers, drop outs, student's that have to work to sustain their families. Which in return means: pain, desperation, anxiety, anger, and depression. These will be the students that will sit in my classroom. As I came to this conclusion, I became nervous and scared and that's were the "slap" of God came. It was God telling me where he wanted me rather where I wanted. So, after the burn and sting of the slap, I followed.
The interview went well and the school is old, rugged, and whispers stories as one saunters down its hall. But, the best part is the massive garden in the back. When I saw this, I breathed a sign of relief for I knew that garden will be my temple. I fully expect to be cursed out, heckled, judged, and walked out on just on my first day. But, this is where I'm supposed to be and because of this...I feel content and healthy. But don't get me wrong, I am scared out of my mind and expect to cry tears of frustration, need of solitude, and most of all for my students. I'm about to see a world that I tried to protect myself from a couple years ago while working in Orange, TX. However, this time the pain will not be from what I see but from what I hear. In other words, I'm going to need a lot of prayer.
The other science teacher is amazing;she will teach Biology and Environmental Studies. Her name is Jessica and she is 26 years old and looks like she's about 13, sound familiar? So, here we are, these nerdy, new teachers looking like we're infants. And these infants are about to teach grown women and men. But we are determined and our hearts are unbounding. We have a lot in common and are writing on the same page in the right direction. I was thinking about making a documentary for the first year of teaching at a "at risk" school and naming it " A taste of Purgatory" let me know your thoughts :)
The students will only be class for 4 hours a day but the Teachers work from 7:30-5. In other words, I will be teaching 8 classes along with planning and grading. My carefree days are over, the reality has set in and I'm ready for this challenge..actually I'm ecstatic. It's weird having grown men calling me Ms. Carlisle and asking me logistic about my classroom. Oh, my classroom, it's huge :) I'm leaving for a flight to Dallas tonight for training through Tuesday with the other new teachers. Sometimes, I have to remember just to respirate.
I am leaving in a four bedroom house with 3 other first year teachers. I met these incredible people through Texas Teaching Fellows. 2 of roommates are bilingual and teaching grade school. The other roommate is teaching Chemistry at a high school. So, the year should be interesting. Oh, I almost forgot, Improv classes are going amazing. I may try out for a couple of shows.
Well, that's all I can think of at the moment. All this to say is that life has changed its form and I'm still swimming and haven't drown yet. Nostalgia has kicked in but the rush of a purpose has taken over. I miss and love each of you! Please give me a call sometime :704-460-3059, I would love to hear from you!
Oh, I read this beautiful post from an amazing man named Andy Byers. While I was in school at Gardner-Webb, he worked there providing counseling. I read this post and loved the simplicity and beauty of working with God through the mundane tasks. I hope you enjoy.
With love from the rolling hills,
Ms. Carlisle
