If you speak my name I vanish...

So,
I figured I would start this new age revolution called: online writing. My motivation or "muse" for this is because I have been encouraged by words through reading. I feel as though my writing is mediocre but I'm challenging myself to put my thoughts into this online abyss...I hope you enjoy reading my thoughts, struggles, humor...me.

I seem to be at a temporary phase...an exile phase. I stray from one day to another not remembering the gravel which I've traveled. I feel as though time has become an ex-boyfriend or a subtle memory that hasn't yet been revealed. I have dreams where I'm drowning in silence...hmm, metaphorical?

These are the undermining thoughts that are becoming my lively hood. But, I will say that I have been praying, oh, I have been praying. Slow and steady prayers to keep me treading through these deep, faintly traced waters. I have seen glimpses of my God through the powers which may demise its truth. I have seen my God through my hatred, frustration, and self-inflicting pity...contradiction? Yes.

I went to get my oil changed and this sweet, concerned man called me to ensure me of my death if I didn't get new tires...I said with a soft, twitter: I lack money, but thanks for letting me know that my percentage of dying in a car has, in fact, risen. As I drove away, I renamed my car: Heavens Gate.

As I drove to my after school program, I got an itch..a calming, that I will in fact will be OK. I may be on the brink of death, poor, temporary, relationship defective, a worn out record...but for the first time, in the past 6 years, I'm discovering the reality that shattered pieces will always be reconstructed with change...

Until next time.