So, it's been almost a year? And how life has changed.
So where should I begin?
Lets start from last Christmas. I went home for Christmas last year and realized that my perspective glasses had to be fixed, or more so my prescription.
Logistics:
Teaching
I now teach AP chem and Pre-AP, which has been a huge jump from my 2 previous years of teaching. I'm the PLC lead for the Chemistry department which helps me make change in a positive direction. I, personally, do not crave leadership positions. Yet, if it starts a catalyst for change, I'll step up.
In college I failed Chemistry my first year and had the hardest time understanding it throughout college (I took 4 years of Chem). Looking back, I always thought I wasn't intelligent enough to grasp this foreign concept but I then realized that I wasn't college prepared due to my low standards of my high school. I'm determined to give these students and education which will further them. I spent many nights crying in college not knowing what my next step will be.
I have been called an "Idiot" many times in life and it really has done me a disservices for confidence.
I refuse to let my students experience this nor slip through the cracks. I never understood and despised Chemistry. But as I learned the complexities of this thing called an "atom", I fell in love. I'm not a genius and will never claim to be but I will work hard to understand complexities.
..I love my job and love my students. I will work my tail off to help them become successful, the end.
Improv
I've taking a step back from improv due to unhealthy emotions towards others in the community as well as my own talent. I need fresh eyes and a little change. I may come back to it, I may not. All I know is that I love this form of art called "acting", it fascinates me. And, Breaking Bad help me fall in love with the power an actor/actress can provide. I've been a fan of Breaking Bad since in came out (2008?) and not a lot of people were watching at the time but I knew it was something that I never seen on television before.
All this to say, thank you Breaking Bad for being risk takers and showing that "Chemistry teachers are bad ass"---- quote from a student
Stand UP
I have dabbled into stand-up a bit :)
I started taking a class with a great Stand-Up comedian and he once said during a class to "talk about what makes you uncomfortable." After I heard this, words dripped out of my mouth like honey. I enjoy stand up because it's the purest form of art.
When I step on stage, I have their attention. I do not have to fight to speak nor do I feel the need to pretend to be a character..I'm myself. And when I speak, it's like looking at a photograph, you see the perspective of the photographer. I speak about situations through my eyes, not anyone else's and they see the picture I'm painting which is only unique to myself.
Friends and Love
I'm so in love and it's a beautiful thing. I can spend every moment with this person which is not easy for me because I tend to get tired of people very easily.
He accepts me for the broken pieces as well as the perfect, immaculate whole pieces of myself..and that's all I can ask for. It's a healthy relationship and everyday gets better. He makes me want to be a healthier and better person ---I know makes you want to throw up.
I feel that I have finally made some lifelong friends here in Austin. I know it's hard to really know me and I understand the frustration some may have had. But, to find friends who really appreciate who you really are and will do anything to help, well that's worth everything.
Conclusion
I'm doing everything I can to really live.... and not live in my head.
Until next time,
Ashley-Jayne Carlisle
In normal life we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give; life can be rich only with such realization.
~Bonhoeffer
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